Article
Avoid Being a Cyberbully: Use Your Head!
Avoid Being a Cyberbully: Use Your Head!
Tell the truth ... how much time do you spend re-reading an IM before you send it? Or thinking about that funny text message you just sent and whether or not it would offend anyone? We send hundreds of messages a day, and most of them don't mean much at all ... at least when we're the sender.
But one of the biggest problems we have online is that no one thinks between their brain dump typing and clicking “send.” Everyone has things they wish they could say. But usually when we break the rules and say them, we wish we could take it back.
That’s the problem. You can never really take it back. When you send or post something online, it lives on forever in archives, caching and other places…
How to Help Prevent It
Find your self-control and good judgment. Here are some ways you can do that.
- Be your own filter. Use the one between your ears. Think before you type. And think again before you click “send.” Read what you wrote. Does it really say what you wanted it to say? Can it be misunderstood? Are you sending it to the right address? Will you regret sending it? If there is any question, don’t send it.
- Write it but don’t send it. Set up a file on your computer. A kinda “brain dump” journal, where you can save things you wish you could say, but know you shouldn’t. Sometimes just writing them down is enough to make you feel better. You can always go back and read what you wrote later and see how you feel about it. Most of the time you will probably be happy you never sent it.
- Write it, but only send it to your cyber-buddy. Sometimes just writing and saving it isn’t enough. You are angry and want to share that with someone. Instead of sharing it with the person you really want to attack, find a trustworthy friend or family-member you can send it to. Work it out in advance. Ask them to promise that they’ll not criticize you for what you wrote and that they’ll never with share it with anyone else. Choose someone who is understanding and a good listener. Choose someone who keeps secrets.
- Always send to the right address! Be very careful not to send an email to the wrong address, especially to a person you are writing about! Sometimes people do this by accident. So double and triple check everything before clicking send! You can then save it in your “brain dump” journal, or delete it.
- Write it, but wait 24 hours before sending it. Sometimes just writing it or sending it to your cyber-buddy isn’t enough. Sometimes you really think you should send it. Okay. Maybe you should. But before you do, write it and save it in your 24 hour file first. That may give you enough time to calm down and look at the issue from a more rational perspective. (Just make sure you use password protection to keep your little brother out of it.)